听美剧练口语:摩登家庭S1E13(台词+音频)

发表于 讨论求助 2018-06-20 10:42:41

第十三集


人会变吗

Can people change?

这是  这是个很难回答的问题

Well, that's a- that is a tough one,

但我认为  是的  人会变的

but I would say yes. People can change.

我坚信这点  至死不变

That's what I believe anyway, and I will till the day I die.

你知道你自相矛盾了吧

You do realize you're proving the exact opposite of your point?

看  她就变了  她以前从不反驳我

See? She's changed. She used to be very supportive of me.

拜托

Come on.

菲尔

Phil!

-怎么这么大声  -我耳朵快被吵爆了

- Ow! Ow! Why is it so loud? - My ears are bleeding!

-怎么这么大声  -不知道  快关掉

- Why is it so loud? - I don't know! Make it stop!

我刚刚在客厅装了一套超棒的家庭影院

I just installed a sweet home theater system in the family room.

问题是克莱尔对

The, um- the trouble is Claire struggles...

任何高科技产品都一窍不通

with technology of any kind.

像是遥控器  手机  电脑

I mean, remotes, cell phones, computers.

海莉  你看到我那件蓝色

Haley, have you seen my blue-

-你好  邓菲太太  -你好  迪兰

- Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. - Oh, hey, Dylan.

你知道我能看见你吧

You know I can see you, right?

不  我还真不知道

No, I did not know that.

海莉在浴室  她一会儿就回来

Haley's just in the bathroom. She'll be back in just a minute.

谢谢

Thank you.

-你刚才把遥控器对着哪  -对着电视

- Where were you pointing it? - At the TV.

This-

亲爱的  不  我不是在笑你

Honey- Uh, no. I'm sorry.

不过这是  这是家庭影院

It's-It's a home theater.

所以呢  我看电视的时候

What, so I can't point it at the TV

不应该把遥控器对着电视吗

when I want to watch the TV?

不  你应该对着接收器

No. You point it at the receiver.

什么是接收器

What's a receiver?

这样吧  你把家庭影院想象成人的身体

Okay, imagine our home theater system is a human body.

接收器就相当于大脑

So then the receiver is the brain.

-电视就是人脸  -我知道你是哪部分

- The TV is the face. - I know what part you are.

所以他对他妻子说  你不再爱我了吗

So he says to his wife, "you don't love me anymore?"

他的心脏受到了重创

His heart- boom!

心脏搭桥手术白做了  瓣膜撕裂

-嗨  看看这是谁  -嗨  是你啊

- Hey! Look who it is. - Hey. There he is.

好巧哟

What a coinkydink.

我在给歌洛莉亚买花

I was just getting some flowers for Gloria

感谢她临时照顾莉莉

for babysitting Lily.

你想让我帮忙带给她吗

You want me to take 'em to her?

谢了  但是我给她准备的爆笑卡片在家里

I would, but I have the most hilarious card for her at home.

上面是一个像安东尼奥·班德拉斯那样

It's- It's a hunky Antonio Banderas type

穿着平角短裤的性感熟男

in silk boxers.

里面写着  谢谢昨夜春宵一场

And on the inside, it says, "thank you for last noche,

只是裤子寻不着

but I can't find my pantalones."

是我说的不好

I'm not doing it justice, really.

你们好  我是卡梅隆

Hi. I'm Cameron.

老天  抱歉  各位  这是卡梅隆

Oh, geez. I'm sorry. Guys, this is Cameron.

-他是  他是我儿子的朋友  -你好

- He's a... friend of my son's. - Hey.

这是  斯科特  达尔  雨果和小短

This is, uh, Scotty, Dale, Hugo and Shorty.

见到你们很高兴

It's nice to meet you guys.

你们现在这样看上去像泽西男孩里的一幕

You guys look like a scene out of Jersey Boys.

-哎呀你看上去真帅  -谢谢

- Ay! So handsome! - Thank you.

曼尼  你涂了须后水吗

Manny, are you wearing aftershave?

是的  为了我的约会对象

Yes, for my date.

这将是她第一次闻到我的雄性气息

This will be the first time she will ever smell me.

她叫惠特妮

Her name is Whitney.

我是在网上读书俱乐部认识她的

I met her in an online book club.

我们都喜欢和吸血鬼有关的小说

We both like vampire fiction...

特别是他们永生的浪漫

and the romance of eternal life.

曼尼有约会对象这件事实在是太可爱了

I think it's adorable that Manny has a date.

他甚至选好了午餐

He even picked out the lunch menu-

烤起司三明治和番茄浓汤

grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

选番茄浓汤是因为  它看上去像血

Tomato soup because, you know, the tomato soup is like the blood.

而吸血鬼喜欢吸血

And the vampires like to eat the blood.

然后他希望我带他们出去吃冰激凌

And then he wants me to take them out for ice cream,

因为曼尼喜欢吃冰激凌

well, because Manny likes ice cream.

应该是她来了  如果约会进行顺利

Oh, that must be her. If this goes well,

你可以提前撤了

you don't need to stick around.

你好  我是惠特妮  我是来见曼尼的

Hi. I'm Whitney. I'm here for Manny.

瞧瞧这玩意儿

See how that works?

久等了小甜心  久等了他爸

Sorry, sweetie. Sorry, Daddy.

不  没事

No, it's all right.

我和莉莉刚刚在

We were just- me and Lily were just using the time...

研究这个车的声控系统怎么用

to figure out how to use the car's voice-command thingy.

来  瞧好了  你看

Oh. Here. Check it out. Watch.

CD播放器  下一首

CD player. Next track.

-请讲指令  -不是吧

- Say a command. - No.

CD播放器  下一首

CD player. Next track.

空调已开

Air conditioner on.

该死的

Damn it.

你比你姐还不擅长用这些东西

You're worse than your sister with this kind of stuff.

幸好莉莉没有弹射座椅

It's a good thing Lily doesn't have an ejector seat.

对了你知道吗  我碰到你爸和他朋友

Oh, guess what. I ran into your dad and some of his friends.

-是吗  -是的  而且

- Oh, really? - Yeah. And get this.

他介绍我的时候  说我是你的朋友

He, uh- He referred to me as "a friend of my son."

-真的吗  -是的

- Seriously? - Yeah.

那样有点不尊重你吧

That's a little disrespectful to you.

-我没有觉得自己被冒犯了  -但我有

- I wasn't offended by it. - Well- I am.

他会说菲尔是克莱尔的朋友吗  不会

I mean, would he refer to Phil as "a friend of Claire's"? No.

我听过他说菲尔一些更不好听的

I've heard him call Phil a lot worse.

别想这件事了  就当我没说过

Just let it pass. I should have never said anything.

不能就这么算了  他得知道这样不对

I'm not letting it pass. He needs to know that's not okay.

如果他不喜欢这样  他以后就别出现

And if he doesn't like it, he knows where he can go.

-输入目的地  -去死[地狱]

- Enter destination. - Hell!

-墨西哥菜  -闭嘴

- Mexican food. - Shut up!

我是25岁左右出柜的

I came out of the closet in my mid-20s.

我和我爸说了三次

I had to actually come out to my dad three times...

他才终于接受了这个事实

before he finally acknowledged it.

我不确定他是不是希望他听错了

I'm not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong,

比如他希望我说的是  爸  我是"童心恋"

like I had said, "Dad, I'm gray."

而我的父母  他们一直都知道

And my parents, they always just knew.

我妈说她生我的时候用了36个小时

My mother says labor with me took 36 hours...

因为从她肚子出来时我就像这样  你好

because I came out of the womb like this- "Hello!"

-我不该再吃煎饼卷了  -嗨  老爸

- I gotta lay off these cannolis. - Hey, dad.

米奇尔  你们认识我儿子吧  米奇

Mitchell. Hey, you guys know my son, Mitch.

-嗨米奇  最近好吗  -嗨米奇

- Hey, Mitch, how they hangin'? - Hey, Mitch.

哟  哟  这件大衣不错

Hey, hey, hey. That's a great coat.

-在哪儿买的  -不知道  别人送的

- Where'd you get that? - I don't know. It was a gift.

真的吗  面料是小山羊皮还是仿麂皮

Really? What is it- suede, microsuede?

应该是某种小羊皮吧  摸上去很软

Some kind of lambskin? It's very soft, you know.

谢谢

Thank you.

-那个  我能和你谈谈吗  -没问题

- Uh, can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-谢谢  见到你很高兴  -很快回来

- Thanks. Good seeing you. - Be right back.

怎么了

What's the matter?

你介绍小卡的时候  说他是我的朋友吗

Um, "a friend of my son"? That's how you introduce Cam?

你来这里就是为了说这个吗

That's why you came here?

爸  你也太侮辱人了

Dad, it's just more than a little insulting.

小卡和我在一起5年了

Cam and I have been together for five years.

我们还有一个女儿

We- We have a daughter.

看看这些人

Look at these guys.

他们看上去好像来自十九世纪

They look like they came out of the 1800s.

你看到雨果了吗

You see Hugo over there?

 

[桑卡是世界上最早的去咖啡因咖啡之一]

 

吃完午餐后  他点了一杯桑卡咖啡

After lunch, he ordered a Sanka.

不  不是他们无法接受同性恋  是你

No, they're not the ones that are uncomfortable with this. You are.

你从未真正接受过我是同性恋这件事

You've never been completely accepting of me.

现在我都有家庭了  再说什么都迟了

And now that I have a family, it's getting a little old.

这些人无法理解同性恋这码事儿

These guys don't understand the gay thing.

为什么要把气氛搞僵呢  我这么想而已

Why create an awkward situation? That's all I'm saying.

真奇怪

That's weird,

因为你朋友小短就是"基味十足"的同性恋

because your friend Shorty there- gay as they come.

-你在开玩笑吧  -不是

- You gotta be kiddin'.  - No.

我的"基达"从没出过错

My gaydar is never wrong,

它现在正叮铃作响  就像在澡堂一样

and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.

你知道你在说什么吗  他以前结过婚

What are you talking about- gay? The guy used to be married.

好吧  难道那就...艾尔顿·约翰

Okay, that makes- So did Elton John,

 

[均为隐瞒自己同性恋身份的名人]

 

梅尔夫·格里芬和科尔·波特也结过婚

Merv Griffin, Cole Porter.

听着  你肯定搞错了

You know what? Listen. You couldn't be more wrong about this.

不  爸爸  你才搞错过很多事情

No, Dad. You could not be more wrong- about a lot of things.

-见到你们很高兴  -慢走  小伙子

- Good seeing you guys. - You take care, man.

-那件大衣很不错  -好  回见

- That's a great coat. - Yeah, later.

叮铃

Ping!

-菲尔·邓菲  -嗨  是我

- Phil Dunphy. - Hey, it's me.

-嗨  -听着  我这儿有很多妈妈们

- Hey. - Listen, I've got a bunch of moms over here...

她们都想看选秀比赛的DVD

who wanna watch the talent show DVD,

我调不出声音来

and I can't get the sound to work.

-有图像吗  -有

- Is there a picture? - Yes.

说实话  你是不是像每次受挫的时候那样

Be honest. Did you do that thing where you get frustrated...

开始狂按各种按键了吧

and you start pressing all the buttons?

没有

No.

我觉得菲尔在家里

I have a theory that Phil installs...

装那些操作复杂的要死的东西

overly complicated things in the house...

就是希望把我当小孩训

just so he has an excuse to talk to me like a child.

上个月是自动调温器

Last month, it was the thermostat.

雪花按键降降温

The snowflake button makes it cold, cold, cold

温度设置恒恒温

"Set temperature" makes it hold, hold, hold

小火苗按键升升温

The little flame makes it hot

太丢人了

This is so humiliating.

-对不起  -没事

- I am sorry. - It's okay.

他在网上给人感觉很成熟

He just seemed so mature online.

-我怎么会这么傻  -你不傻

- How could I be so stupid? - You're not stupid.

不跟着感觉抓住恋爱的机会才叫傻

"Stupid" is not following your heart and taking a chance on love.

你看  哪个11岁小孩能说出这样的话

I mean, what kind of 11-year-old talks like that?

曼尼内心很成熟

Manny's an old soul.

来  手帕

Here. Use my handkerchief.

你明白我的意思了吧

You see what I mean?

我会孤老终死的

I'll just be alone for the rest of my life.

-不过没关系了  -不要这样说

- And that's okay. - No, don't say that.

在我们国家  有一句谚语是这么说的

In my country, there's a saying that means...

爱就在"转角"处

"Love is just around the corner."

我老家附近有很多妓女

I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.

也许对你来说是的

Maybe for you.

每天都会有很多男人围着你转吧

I mean, men must throw themselves at you every day.

你也可以的  只要

They'II do the same for you if you just-

只要怎样  献身吗

Just what? Put out?

不  只要

No. Just-

涂点唇彩  弄弄头发  穿上托文胸

like, the lipstick, the hair, push-up bra. You know.

有用吗  我永远不会变得和你一样漂亮

What's it matter? I'm never gonna be as pretty as you.

相信我  我也是下了一番功夫的

Ay, believe me, this takes a lot of work.

你只是需要找到你的内在美

You just need to find your inner beauty.

你的内在美被你的不安全感掩盖了

It's hiding beneath a mask of insecurity.

他有点吓到我了

Okay, he's starting to freak me out.

曼尼  自己去玩

Manny, go play.

米奇尔  这花看上去怎么样

Mitchell, how do these look to you?

-看上去像是快要谢了  -对吧

- Like they're dying. - I know. Right?

我也是这么对那个花商说的  他说

I said something to the florist. He said,

不要担心  它们会变好的

"Don't worry about it. They're gonna come back."

它们没有变好  它们更蔫了

They're not coming back. They've crossed to the other side.

-你蛮搞笑的  -为什么

- You are a funny man. - Why?

你能被这些花搞得心烦气躁

You're completely bothered by the flowers.

但是我爸爸说你是我的朋友的时候

But when my father introduces you as "a friend of my son,"

你一点儿也没有觉得困扰

doesn't faze you in the least.

因为那个花商把我当成了一个傻子

Because the florist played me for a fool.

你爸没有刻意伤害我  他就是那样的人

Your dad didn't mean any harm. He's just being who he is.

当我在东部的法学院上学的时候

When I was back East in law school,

我爸爸曾经每周六下午六点都打电话给我

my dad used to call me every Saturday at 6:00 p.M.,

在大家都准备出去玩之前

before people would go out,

只是为了查查勤  了解一下近况

just to, you know, check in, catch up.

然后  应该是第二年的圣诞节吧

And then, I think, the Christmas of my second year,

我终于鼓起勇气向他出柜

I finally got up the courage to tell him.

之后  我  我基本上只和我妈说话

After that, I-I... pretty much just talked to my mom.

别哭

Don't cry.

我没在哭

I'm not crying.

-我回家了  -我们在这儿

- I'm home! - We're here.

这是惠特妮  我们在打扮她

This is Whitney. We're giving her a makeover.

你好  你的家人都很善良

Hi. You have such a nice family...

你的房子也很漂亮

and a really beautiful house.

谢谢  你们怎么认识的

Thanks. You two know each other how?

她是我的约会对象

She's my date.

她当然是  我去里面歇着了

Of course she is. I'll be in here.

我很快就回来

I'll be right back.

对不起  这个约会和你预想的不太一样

I'm sorry this didn't turn out like you wanted.

没事

That's okay.

或许和你预想的也不太一样

Probably didn't turn out how you wanted it either.

不如这样吧

I'll tell you what.

如果十年以后我们还都是单身

If neither of us is with anybody in 10 years,

我们俩试试行吗

how about you and me give it a shot?

听着好诡异

That's disturbing.

不过可以试试

But maybe.

-你们的午餐吃的怎么样  -很好

- How was your lunch with the boys? - Good.

-还碰到了米奇尔和小卡  -不错嘛

- Ran into Mitchell and Cam. - Ay, nice.

你肯定不会相信

You're not gonna believe this.

-米奇尔说小短是同性恋  -小短吗

- Mitchell says Shorty's gay. - Shorty?

-我相信他是  -不会吧

- Yeah, I believe it. - Oh, come on!

你看  他穿着很讲究  跳舞也很好

Well, he's a great dresser, a great dancer.

那些不能证明什么

That doesn't prove anything.

他是你朋友中唯一一个没有勾搭过我的

He's the only one of your friends that never hits on me.

我朋友勾搭过你吗

My friends hit on you?

是啊  经常的事儿  不过不用担心

Yes, all the time, but don't worry.

他们都是老男人  造成不了什么威胁

They're a bunch of harmless old men.

他们和我一样年纪

They're my age.

小短要保守这个秘密一定很难

I'm sure it's very hard on Shorty to keep a secret like that.

-杰  我觉得你该跟他聊聊  -什么

- Jay, I think you should talk to him. - What?

只有你有一个同性恋儿子

You're the only one with a gay son.

他一定会愿意跟你倾诉的

I'm sure he'll appreciate opening up to you.

我们是男人  男人不倾诉

We're guys. We don't open up.

我们聊运动  聊车

We talk about sports and cars,

还有半夜爬起来尿尿

getting up in the middle of the night to pee.

我相信米奇出柜的时候  你帮了他不少

I'm sure you made it very easy for Mitch to come out of the closet.

-是  -好吧  我去继续帮人打扮了

- Yeah. - Okay. I'm gonna finish my makeover.

因为我关心别人

Because I care about people.

我想帮别人改变他们的人生

Because I want to help them change their lives.

杰  我在暗示你应该打电话给你朋友

Jay, I'm hinting that you should call your friend, okay?

-好  我懂了  -好  好

- Yes. I'm getting that. - Okay, okay.

哈喽  爸爸回到自己的领地了

Hey, hey! Daddy in the hizzouse!

你为什么要这么对一个又新又贵的遥控器

Why would you do that to a brand-new, very expensive remote?

因为我发火了  它又不听话

Because I lost my temper, and it didn't work.

所以  它对我来说没用

Therefore, it's useless.

亲爱的  只要碰上电子产品

Well, honey, when it comes to anything electronic,

你绝对不是个好学生

you're not exactly the best student.

我很聪明的

I am very smart.

我大学绩点4.0  你多少

I had a 4.0 in college. How about you?

我也差不多  尽管我花了很多时间

I was almost that despite my substantial time

在啦啦队上

commitment to cheerleading.

我们不是说好不提啦啦队这档事的吗

I thought we agreed not to bring up the cheerleading.

在我的大学  啦啦队员可是名流

Cheerleading in my college was cool.

橄榄球队的羡慕嫉妒恨到

The football players were so jealous,

不让我和几个兄弟

they wouldn't even let me and my buddies

特雷弗  斯科特还有林参加他们的派对呢

Trevor, Scotty and Ling- go to their parties.

说真的  克莱尔

Seriously, Claire,

砸烂了遥控器  你总得给我道声歉吧

you owe me an apology for breaking that.

行  菲尔

Okay. Phil,

我很抱歉砸烂了世上最差劲的

I apologize for breaking the world's worst remote...

你一时糊涂而买的遥控器

that you bought... stupidly.

不好意思

Excuse me,

它可是被科技咨询网的专家评为最佳遥控器

but the experts at CNET.Com rated it the best remote.

给了三个半鼠标呢

They gave it three and a half mice.

我有个好主意  我们把科技网的砖家

Wow. I have an idea. Let's invite the gang from CNET over...

还有你那些啦啦队同仁们请来

and your old buddies from cheerleading,

开个书呆子派对吧

and we can have a nerd party.

林才不是书呆子

Ling is not a nerd.

他自己造了架直升机

He built his own helicopter.

如果他现在还健在

And if he was alive today-

亲爱的  我们不说林了

Sweet pea, let's not talk about Ling.

一提到他你就难过

It upsets you too much.

-知道我要干什么吗  -什么

- You know what I'm gonna do? - Hmm?

我要去买个一模一样的遥控器回来

I'm gonna buy a new remote- the same remote.

为了证明你错的有多离谱

And just to prove how wrong you are,

我要在20分钟内

I'm gonna teach our dumbest kid

教会我们最傻的孩子怎么用

how to use it in 20 minutes or less.

-我们最傻的孩子是谁  -卢克

- Who's our dumbest kid? - Luke.

卢克  不行  卢克很懂电器

Luke? No, Luke understands electronics.

海莉

Haley.

-不  -没错  海莉

- No. - Yeah, Haley.

教会海莉怎么用  我就道歉

Teach Haley to use the remote, and then I'll apologize.

-海莉  -没错

- Haley? - Mm-hmm.

拜托

Come on!

嘿  小短  是我

Hey, Shorty, it's me.

我打算去高尔夫球场

I was thinking of heading over to the driving range

挥几杆子

and hitting a few balls.

要不要一起

You want to join me?

好主意  杰  我该穿什么好呢

That's great, Jay. What should I wear?

我怎么知道  想穿什么穿什么

I don't know. Wear- Wear whatever you want.

天啊  我的天啊

Oh, my God! Oh, God!

-怎么了  -那束花

- What? - The flowers.

看起来好多了  真是人间惨剧

They look so much better! This is a disaster.

你知道"惨剧"是什么意思吧

You do know what "Disaster" means, right?

你不懂  我要求他们过来换一束

You don't understand. I demanded that they come exchange them.

还对那花店狂发了顿飚

I got all medieval on the florist.

小卡  我听见你讲电话了

Cam, I heard you on the phone.

你只是说你不满意  那怎么算发飙呢

You said you were displeased, but that's hardly going medieval.

不好意思  我说的是"非常不满意"

Excuse me. I said "Very displeased."

用的还是我的牛仔音  所以...

And I used my cowboy voice, so-

你在干嘛

What are you doing?

我微波一下  花就蔫了

I'm microwaving them so they look bad again.

你走火入魔了吧

Well, that seems a little crazy, doesn't it?

不好  是花店的人

Oh, no! That's the florist.

淡定  把花拿出来  我去应门

Relax. Just take them out. I'll get the door.

他看不出来的

He'll never know the difference.

嗨  我是花店的

Hi. Florist.

-请进  花在他那儿呢  -你好

- Yes. Come on in. He's over there with the flowers. - Hello.

我不知道发生了什么事

I don't know what happened.

这些花看起来蔫头耷脑的

They just, uh, somehow lost their vigor.

-我们一到家就这样了  -小卡  小卡

- They were like this when we came home. - Cam. Cam.

天啊天啊

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

我的神啊  老天啊

Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Oh, my God!

老天  老天

God, God!

瞧瞧  我的脸也羞愧得跟火烧过一样

Look at that. Two things flaming at once.

该死

Damn it!

-你知道你问题在哪吗  -在哪

- You know what the problem is. - What?

你没有灵活运用臀部  太僵硬了

You're not moving your hips. They're frozen.

臀部

Hips?

对  你的臀部  太僵硬了  我教你

Yeah, your hips. They're frozen. Here, let me show you.

-别麻烦了  -别跟我争了

- No, it's okay.  - No, no. - Don't fight me.

好吧  小短

All right, Shorty.

向后挥杆  来  这样

Just bring the club back. Go ahead. All right?

然后屁股转过来  没错  放松就行了

Now turn those hips. That's it. You just gotta relax.

两腿站开点

You gotta open up the stance a little bit.

打开  打开

Spread 'em. Spread 'em.

就这样  如果不放松

That's it. If you don't relax,

你那一杆永远挥不得劲

you're never gonna get that shaft where it belongs.

不如我们去喝杯咖啡休息下吧

Hey, you know what? How about a coffee?

-走  喝咖啡去  -行

- Let's get a coffee. - Sure.

按下"功能"键

Now press the button labeled "Activities."

-在哪呢  -就在右侧  右侧

- Where is that? - It's just to the right. - To the right.

-然后选择"观看DVD"  -什么

- And now choose "Watch DVD." - What?

亲爱的  专心点  我们只有20分钟

Honey, you gotta focus. We've only got 20 minutes.

假装  假装商场要关门了

Pretend- Pretend the mall's closing.

老爸  这也太傻了

Dad, this is stupid.

我都是用电脑看电视的

I watch TV on my computer.

我干嘛要学这个

Why do I have to learn this?

因为你妈觉得你学不会

Because your mom doesn't think you can.

谁来也学不会啊

Nobody can.

海莉  听我说

Haley, listen to me.

听我说

Listen to me.

我知道听起来似乎不可能

I know this seems impossible.

但是想想有多少次

But this is for all those times

妈妈告诉你她是对的

that Mom told you she was right...

但你心里很清楚她是错的

and you knew she was wrong.

-我会尽全力  -乖女儿

- I'll do it. - That's my girl.

那男的杆挥的不错

You know, that guy's got a beautiful stroke.

瞧瞧那裤子  一点褶都没有  我喜欢

Look at his pants- no pleats. I like pants like that.

你觉得我撑得起来那样的裤子吗

You think I can get away with something like that?

有什么撑不起来的

Sure. Why not?

小短  我们是老交情了

Listen, Shorty, uh, we know each other a long time, right?

-有30年了吧  -对

- What, 30 years? - Yeah.

我感觉你心里藏了个秘密

And, um, I sense that you got a secret...

那个秘密让你痛苦不堪

that's maybe causing you a lot of anguish.

你听说了什么  是不是

You heard something, right?

我儿子米奇尔也曾经这样

Well, I had the same situation with my son, Mitchell.

是吗

Really?

是  而我处理得不是很好

Yeah, and I didn't handle it too well either.

我只是想告诉你

And, uh, I just want you to know

你可以随时对我敞开心扉

that you can open up to me,

我会不余遗力地帮助你的

that I'm gonna do all I can to help you.

我...

Well, I mean I-

我从来没对任何人说过

I never said this out loud before to anyone.

但我觉得  要说也只能是对你了

But I guess, if I did, it would be you.

就是  杰  其实  我...

It's just that, Jay, you see, I'm, uh-

我...

I'm-

说出来吧  说出来吧

Go ahead. Yeah. Go ahead.

-我欠债了  -什么

- I'm in debt. - Huh?

我向赌场庄家借了两万  他是个狠角色

I owe a bookie 20 G's, and he's a serious guy.

现在有你雪中送炭  真是太好了

And you offering to give me the dough- This is beautiful.

-等会  你不是同性恋  -同性恋

- Wait a minute. You're not gay? - Gay?

你说什么呢  什么同性恋

What are you talkin' about- gay?

我才不是呢  你从哪看出来的

I'm not gay. Where'd you get gay?

拜托  瞧瞧你

Come on. I mean, you're always

一天到晚不停地说衣服

talking about clothes and everything, right?

我父亲是个裁缝  我喜欢服饰

My father was a tailor. I like clothes.

那又怎么样

So what?

你是在说我父亲是同性恋吗

Are you calling my father gay?

不是

No!

如果当年没有我父亲登陆诺曼底

My father landed on Normandy

你还不知道在哪混呢

to save your ass.

要不是看在你借我两万块的份

You know, if you weren't lending me 20 G's,

我现在肯定揍得你满地找牙

I'd knock you out right now.

支票行吗

Take a check?

现金更好

Cash would be better.

海莉  准备好了吗

Haley. You ready?

开始吧

Let's do this.

打开电视

Turn on the TV.

-安琪拉说他给她染完后  -很好

- Angela says, after he colored her hair- - Nice.

-头发变灰然后又变绿了  -静音

- It turned gray and then green. - Mute it.

取消禁音

Un-mute it.

六十五块

Sixty-five dollars.

-播放DVD  -理发师

- Put on a DVD. - Hairdresser

弗雷德里克·朗迈尔不承认过失

Frederick Longmire denies he's responsible.

-快进  -我看看

- Skip forward. - Wait.

好  回到电视

Okay. Back to TV.

多好

...better than that.

霸气

Face!

别高兴得太早  菲尔

Don't get all cocky, Phil.

如果我这样的话

Let's see what happens to little Haley...

小海莉要怎么办呢

when I do... this.

霸气

Ho, ho, ho. Ho! Face.

爸  我该怎么办

Dad, wh- What do I do?

别慌  我们练过这个的  好好想想

Don't panic. We went through this. Just- Just think.

放弃吧  承认你们失败了

Give up. Give up. Admit defeat.

-海莉  -我想想

- Haley. -Okay. - Uh, let's see.

先把遥控器转回电视模式

You put the remote on to TV mode...

然后按"输入"键

and then press "Input"...

直到HDMI1出现  然后

till you get HDMI 1 and-

-我成功了  -她成功了

- I did it! - She did it!

好吧  你们赢了

Fine. You proved your point.

这家里所有人都比我聪明

Everybody in this house is smarter than me.

不  亲爱的  不是这意思

No, honey, you're missing the point.

我在20分钟内就教会了海莉用遥控器

I taught Haley how to use the remote in 20 minutes.

你肯定比她快多了

So think how fast you can learn it.

你那话什么意思

What's that supposed to mean?

瞧见了吗

See what I'm saying?

米奇尔  是我

Mitchell, it's me!

-嗨  老爸  -嗨

- Hey, Dad. - Hi.

我来是想告诉你  你的基达坏掉了

I'm here to let you know your gaydar is broken.

小短不是同性恋

Shorty is not gay.

是  我知道

No. I, uh- I knew that.

你那样对小卡我一时气不过才那样说的

I made that up to mess with you for dissing Cam.

什么  你让我花了两万块

What? That cost me 20,000 bucks.

什么意思

What do you mean?

我跟他说是同性恋也没关系

I reached out to him to let him know it's okay to be gay.

-你真这样做了  -是啊

-Y ou did? - Yeah.

就在我人生最诡异的高尔夫球课之后

Right after one of the stranger golf lessons of my life.

结果他只是个赌技很烂的赌徒

Turns out what he is is a lousy gambler,

而现在我得为他买单

and now I'm the one on the hook for it.

真是太抱歉了

Oh, I'm so sorry.

那你笑什么

Then why are you smiling?

我真为你骄傲  爸  你成长了不少

I'm- I'm proud of you, Dad. And you're growing.

别说了

Just-Just stop it. Please.

你不知道这对我来说多艰难吗

Don't you see how hard this is for me?

我以前就跟他们一样  看看我现在

See, I used to be just like one of those guys. Now look at me.

我家就跟哥伦比亚村一样

I got a house looks like Little Colombia.

我儿子是同性恋  我还有个中国孙女

I got a gay son and a Chinese granddaughter.

是越南

Vietnamese.

也只有你才知道区别

Only you would know the difference.

别急  老爸  你也没长进多少

Don't worry, Dad. Not growing too much.

我有点紧张

I'm a little nervous.

-别紧张  -你肯定美极了

- Don't be. - I'm sure you look beautiful.

你们觉得怎么样

What do you think?

看看你

Look at you!

真的吗

Really?

男人会围着你转的  赶都赶不走

You're gonna be fighting men off with a stick.

我可不确定

I don't know about that.

-卡梅隆  -抱歉没打个招呼就来了

- Cameron! - Hi. Sorry for the pop over,

我只是想过来送你这个

but I just wanted to bring you these...

感谢你昨晚帮我照顾莉莉

to thank you for babysitting Lily again last night. -Oh!

谢谢  跟我客气啥啊

Gracias! You didn't need to do that.

-我爱莉莉  -我知道

- You know I love Lily. - I know.

进来  打个招呼

Come in. Say hello.

卡梅隆  来认识一下我的新朋友惠特妮

Cameron, this is my new friend, Whitney.

惠特妮  这是卡梅隆

Whitney, this is Cameron.

你好  认识你很高兴

Hello. It's nice to meet you.

你的裙子真是惊艳

That is a spectacular dress.

这老旧玩意?

This old thing?

-看看她发型  -天啊

- What about her hair? - Oh, my gosh.

就跟芭芭拉·史翠珊在《往日情怀》里一样

It's like Barbra Streisand in The Way We Were.

-我的最爱之一  -我也是

- One of my favorites. - Me too.

好吧  是谁在读永恒系列

Okay, who is reading The Forevers?

是我

I am.

我最近完全迷上吸血鬼小说了

I am so obsessed with this whole vampire thing right now.

我也是

Me too.

我刚认识了个超棒的男人  他叫卡梅隆

I just met the sweetest guy named Cameron.

我觉得他可能是我的真命天子

I think he might be the one.

人会改变吗  我不知道

Can people change? I don't know.

人们总是本性难移  加减个15%吧

People are who they are- give or take, yeah, 15%.

如果真的想改变的话最多也就15%

That's how much people can change if they really want to.

-那有机会再见了  再见  -恩 谢谢

- Well, I'll see you when I see you. - Yeah, thanks for-

海莉  甜心  醒醒

Haley, sweetie, wake up.

-干嘛  -教教我怎么用电视吧

- What? - I need you to teach me to use the TV.

现在  为什么不找爸爸教你

Now? Why can't Dad teach you?

因为我们是夫妇

Because we're married.

不管是为自己还是为了所爱的人改变

Whether it's for themselves or for the people they love-

那个  对

That way. Yeah.

-然后按  -我知道了

- And then press- - Mmm! I got it.

恩  15%

Yeah. Yeah, 15%.

-但是  -我成功了

- But you know what? - I did it!

-有时候这样就足够了  -我成功了

- Sometimes that's just enough. - I did it!

行了  我们下星期见

All right, I'll see you guys next week, huh?

杰  杰

Jay. Jay.

我想谢谢你

Listen, I wanna thank you for,

帮我解了围

you know, helping me out with that jam.

没什么的

It was nothin'.

不不  我想送你个小礼物

No, no, no. And I got you a little present.

-你不必这样  -不  我已经买了

- You didn't have to do that. - No, I did.

麦克·布雷演唱会的两张门票

Two tickets to see the great Michael Bubly.

那家伙简直是天籁之音

The guy sings like an angel.

他会在露天剧场外面演出

He's gonna be outside at one of the amphitheaters.

歌洛莉亚肯定爱死这个了

Gloria's gonna love it.

-不  我是说我们俩去  -你和我

- No. I'm talkin' about you and me. - Oh, you and me.

-对  -这会不会有点...

- Yeah. - Well, that's a little-

因为是在野外  我们可以顺便野餐

I thought maybe we could have a little picnic since it's outside.

我会带瓶好酒  带点奶酪

You know? I'll get some nice bottle of wine, a little cheese.

-铺张毯子  行吗  -行

- Lay on a nice blanket. All right? - Yeah, fine.

我喜欢你的发型  谁帮你剪的

Yo, hey. I like your hair. Who does your hair? Huh?

嘿  帅哥  谁帮你剪的头发

Yo, handsome. Who does your hair?


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